Welcome 

{mid-journey} 

to 


my 


very 


own 


breakdown.

For those of you who have read my sporadic postings, you may recall that last fall I posted about TT getting into trouble with the law.


I promised to post as things progressed, but to be honest with you ~ it was just too hard to put it into words that formed sentences.


Also, I really struggled with the fact that it really wasn't my story to share {the "what he did" part} but now I think I'm ready to reflect.


So God help us all ...


Turns out TT was diagnosed with an impulse control problem & mild Taurettes {not the spewing profanity type ~ the physical discomfort type}.


Immediately, DH & I established an appointment routine with the best recommended therapist we could find. We also took TT to a Behavioral Therapist that not only came as the highest recommendation in our area but could also prescribe appropriate medication.


We sought the help of a Family Therapist that could help us with the dynamics of our family.


And most of all we kept TT in a safe environment at home.


Or so I thought.


In his most recent escapades he began sneaking our laptop up to his room at night & managed to create a few email accounts as well as a second FaceBook profile. {that commented on how he did it so his parents wouldn't know & "what a bad boy"}.


And if that wasn't enough he struck up a relationship with a girl whose father had already warned TT to stay away.


You know, I'm pretty proud of the courage I can muster up ~ but I have to admit I've never used it to my detriment. 


Unfortunately, this was only the beginning to the domino effect that has ensued.


Luckily, I have the F5 & they have been amazing.


They've helped me stay grounded & put things into perspective.


"If you take each thing on it's own, it's typical teenage behavior"
~ including the ignorance


"At least he hasn't turned to drugs or alcohol"
~ probably, because, due to his lock down conditions ... there's been no real opportunity.


But the reason I've finally hit official Break Down status?


After tossing his room on the last day of school we discovered that he had been stealing money out of DH's night stand, stealing DS2's Gameboy games & had scurried off with plenty of other "missing" items from the house.


WTH???


When did he go from Horny Teenager to Kleptomaniac??


That really was about the final straw ~ when all of us felt as though we couldn't leave things lying around our own home something's gotta give.


So ... I did something I thought I'd never do.


I called his biological dad {BD}.


Quick History on BD:

• We were HS sweethearts
• We tried hard to have TT
• When TT was 1 BD decided he didn't want to be married anymore
• BD cleaned out the bank accounts & left me on my ass w/baby & dog in an apartment I couldn't afford
• Got myself back on my feet
• Met DH
• Got married
• BD signed over parental rights {to get out of child support}
• DH adopted TT
• And we never heard from BD again.

Well, mostly.


He reached out to TT on Facebook right after I took privileges away.


Back to today ...


I called BD & explained that his son needed him & if he was sincere in his apology {about the whole abandoning him thing} then he could show it by allowing TT to come live with him for the summer.


And the song & dance began "well, I don't know..."


For crying out loud how long does the guy need to figure out how to get his life together??? It's been 15 years!


Turns out it's been yet another failed marriage for him & 2 more kids he's littered into society {that I'm sure he won't have any part in raising either}.


Urrgghh


I really want to believe that TT is still that good person inside that I've seen all his childhood, but dammit ... he's chipping away at that confidence with each thing he scurries away!


{{{sigh}}}


If you've made it this far in the post ~ I thank you. I know it was a long one.


Hopefully this can help someone else out there dealing with a teen searching for identity & acceptance in all the wrong places.


Tomorrow I have another conversation with BD to see if he can take TT.


Stay tuned & as always ~ Thanks for reading,


TOAM