Gut Instinct... 06/21/2010
 I've always been one of those women who believes in listening to your gut instinct. {inner voice, 6th sense, weird feelings ~ call it what you like, it's all the same}. So when BD told me {during the 2nd conversation} that he couldn't help in our little situation, I had to figure out what to do next. DH's words of wisdom: "be honest & tell him {TT} exactly what's going on. He deserves to know." And, so, I had a big decision to make. Be honest with TT & risk breaking his heart through yet another disappointment from this man or come up with a "plan B" & continue protecting him from what was yet to be discovered. I decided to be honest ... Family Meeting style. DH wasn't so sure we should include DS2 in the discussion but I firmly stood my ground. "We need to discuss what has been going on the past couple of days with TT", I began the meeting bravely. "We're discussing this as a family, because that is what it's going to take to get through it. Sticking together, being patient, forgiveness and most of all time." I laid out the facts, keeping emotions & opinions at bay. {I think my tongue is still bleeding} By the time I was done TT was crying & I felt like the worst mother in the world. However, over the following 48 hours TT & I had some pretty intense conversations. He explained that he felt "shattered" and that he wasn't sure "but I think this is what rock bottom feels like". I wish I could report back that those statements made me feel guilty, but the honest truth is they were a relief to hear. By NO means did I want my child to hurt, but its clear now that what he needed, to grow up, was several questions answered. Including the one "what's my BD like?" I was tormented when he explained "that he thought when he met BD he would be meeting his Hero & now he's realized that that guy is pretty much a Loser". I've never wanted him to own the sins of his father. That's why I've always explained to him ~ BD made the decision to leave as a 21 y/o kid & there's been plenty of years to grow from there. Unfortunately, I didn't count of the fact that BD was actually doing us a favor by leaving. My gut said, tell him & let him determine what to do with the information. I did. He did. Now time will tell. TOAM CommentsLeave a Reply | Kindle Feed
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